Um, Natalie, what's that in your hair?

Have you ever had one of those days? Weeks? Months? Or, in our case, years? I'm running fever, my throat hurts like crazy, my ears keep popping, and I'm sleep deprived from not breathing well while sleeping due to a stuffy nose. We managed to make it to the doctor's office, and somehow, with a stroke of genius, I brought schoolwork for them to do at the dr's so they wouldn't cry "BORED" the whole time. It was a new doctor, since mine quit her practice. I had a gazillion new patient forms to fill out. "Did your 2nd cousin twice removed ever have the flu?" Okay, that's exaggerated, but they did want info back to my grandparents. The schoolwork came in handy while I did my own paperwork.

I finished all the papers about the time that Natalie finished her work. She was standing close enough that I could see a black speck in her hair. I thought it was a piece of dirt or something. She came closer, I reached in to remove it, and the piece of dirt moved. So, I pulled it off and flicked in on the floor. Yeah, really smart. I looked and found a few more of these moving specks. I knew that lice nits were white, but had no idea what color lice were. My first words to this brand new doctor were, "What color are lice?" "Black. Does she have them?" I told her about the black specks & she said, "She has lice." Then she checked me (not for lice, but for the respiratory crud), prescribed a z-pack and sent us on her way. I wonder if she disinfected the room after we left. Or the office. Shudder.

When we got in the car, I had to remember who the girls were last with. AWANA, they were at church last night. They took a friend with them. I called the friend's mom. I thought I'd had another dropped call because after I mentioned something moving in Natalie's hair and heard her say, "Oh, no," the phone went silent. Turned out I had just put her into temporary shock. At Wal-Mart we stocked up on Lice killing shampoo and spray. My friend, meanwhile, started the research for me & when I got home I had "Louseology 101" waiting for me!

3 heads have been treated. We've sprayed the couch & bedding that can't be washed (um, that's the mattress). I've washed at least 3 loads of washable bedding in very hot water. I've called Call-A-Nurse (again, I told the nurse I was afraid she'd answer with, "Oh, it's you again.") to find out how long we need to be quarantined (until no nits or live lice are found; not too helpful!). Phil has gone to work to get his laptop, which he normally brings home, thinking he might quarantine himself to the house for a day. Now we have to wait for pillows to dry. They take a very long time to dry. A VERY long time.

I've also called my dad to officially bow out of being a helper at their house this week. I've listened to Natalie cry and scream, "I hate lice! I'm mad that God made lice! Why did God have to make stupid lice?" I told her my theory is that God made them good but satan made them bite. Yeah, it's in the LMV Bible (Lori's Mom version). I've looked over Phil's head, several times, listening to him asking, "Don't you see ANY of them on there? Are you sure? Can't you find ONE?" He has very dark hair (minus the grays, most of which have Natalie's name on them), so it's hard to see at first, but it's very short (unlike the time to dry the pillows; oh, did I mention that?). I found one piece with a white something at the end. I told the Call-A-Nurse that he was wondering if he should stay home & she laughed & said for him to show up at work, start scratching his head & go home!

I have NEVER, I repeat NEVER had head lice. Not as a child. Not as a teenager. Not in college. Not even as a teacher (and I caught every other bug they brought me). I even had Dad ask Mom & she said, "Nope, never had them." However MOM had them as a child, so Dad said to blame it on her.

I called 2 of the neighbors to notify them. They'd received notes from school that lice is going around. One mom checked her kids & called me back. They are clear so far. I'm so glad as she has a newborn baby. She doesn't need lice right now! The other I notified, but haven't heard if they found any. I've notified our homeschool co-op by e-mail. I feel like we have the black plague or something.

By the way, I still am running fever, throat hurts, ears are popping, and I feel just awful. But I don't get sick days. What's up with that anyway? I think I need to contact my union. Oh, wait, I live with the union. Oh, well! At least if the Union stays home tomorrow, we can run to vote without kids.

I have to ask a question now, and you need to leave a comment with your answer. Did your head start itching just reading about lice?