What NOT to do at a Pampered Chef show!

Last night I had a PC show at a home where I've done shows in the past. It's been about 3 years since I was there, and I was so excited to see this host & some of the ladies I'd met before. We were having such a good time. I was really on my dorky best & they were laughing at almost everything I said. Yea, there are times I tell my goofy jokes & they just stare at me like I'm from Mars. Not this group. All was fun til I needed to open a cake mix bag. You know, the plastic pack that the cake is in once you open the box? The one that is sealed so tight you need a chainsaw to open it? That is, of course, unless you have scissors. Kitchen shears would be the perfect choice. Oh, wait, those are the ones I left at my LAST show. The ones I thought I could wait & pick up next week. After all, I had plenty of cutting tools with me. Except my shears. Or my little coupon clipper tool that we sell, the I-slice.

I-slice. Yes, apparently I had my own version of an I-slice. You see, I decided that our green "fun and trendy" santoku knife (or is it santuko? the Rachel Ray style knife) would be great because it is REALLY SHARP. I told them about our cute knives & that they are REALLY SHARP. Then I demonstrated it. Right into my index finger on my left hand. I was fast & no blood got on the knife or the cake mix! I said, "I think I need a bandaid." Then I heard ladies saying, "Get some paper towels," and suddenly I had a new friend holding my finger wrapped in paper towels. And another new friend going for her first aid kit. And yet another new friend finding me a chair & telling me to hold up my finger above my heart. The host moved away from me immediately & said, "I don't do blood!" I thought she might pass out!

So, there I sat, with one guest holding my finger tight as I then continued the show telling the guests what to do to finish the recipe! I think I must have told them 10 times, "I have insurance for this" because of my PC insurance. The ladies were finally able to wrap gauze & about 3 bandaids around it. By the time I left, the bleeding had stopped, or at least we not oozing. Sorry, am I making you feel faint?

I stopped at CVS to pick up some new bandaids & something called "Liquid bandage." I called Phil & told him what happened and to be prepared to take off the bandaids to check it & put this stuff on when I got home. We had to cut off the bandaids (with a VERY dull pair of tiny scissors). As soon as we pulled them off we had a bloody geyser on our hands, or more specifically, on my hand. There was no stopping the blood, so Phil wrapped several bandaids on my finger to keep it under control until I could get to the ER. Of course, the girls were still up (who could miss this excitement) and we had to decide what to do with them. I knew my friend Kathy would still be up. Remember the post about my friend cleaning up Natalie's throw-up? Yep, that friend. Phil called her & while I'm standing there bleeding to death (okay, maybe that is a slight exaggeration), they discuss that the cadette Girl Scouts are going to get to fly on Saturday & Phil wants to hear all about it. We dropped the girls at Kathy's house. She told us just leave them overnight and that we come up with the best excuses to be alone! LOL! Off we went to the ER.

We got to the ER about 11:30. Around midnight we went in & gave all the info & got a pretty bracelet with my name on it. The nurse told us it would be awhile. So, Phil went to the van & brought in his computer (yes, really). There was no internet connection, but he did have some videos recorded, so he plugged in the ear buds & we each had one in an ear. We watched almost all of a video about Global Warming not really being caused by CO2. It was interesting to a point, but it wasn't stamping or cooking.

At 2:00 a.m. we got into a room. About 30 min. later we saw the dr. Of course, by then, the bleeding had finally slowed almost completely. He said we could leave it & just put a band aid on it, or he could glue it. He said stitches weren't an option b/c it was so small. He put the fancy super glue on my finger, the nurse put the $1000 band aid on top of it (her words, which we laughed at---um, we met our deductible before our LAST ER visit---we can laugh now!), and sent us on our merry way.

By 4 a.m. I was in bed. I'm rather woozy today, but I'm awake. The girls have a birthday party this evening, so I'll have to have some caffeine to make it through to that.

And lest you think I am the only one with bad jokes and puns in our family, Phil, my quiet husband, told each person along the way, from check-in to doctor, that I was serving "finger food" at the party. Wanna know the funny part? It was finger food!

And that, boys and girls, is what NOT to do at a Pampered Chef party.