I thought of that since yesterday (I guess at 12:30 a.m. I have to officially switch dates) was a day we would have liked to have changed. We would have liked to wake up and realize that the night before was a bad dream. We would have liked to have heard Bill's voice. We would have liked to see him puttering around as he liked to do, or playing dominoes at the computer, or watching yet another old cowboy movie. But, unlike the movie, this is real life. We don't get to "do over" the day.
This is where I find the grace of God so amazing. We don't get to do the same day over & over, but we DO get a chance at "do-overs" each new day we wake up. In His Word, we read:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3: 22-23
We don't know when our last day will be. We never know when we will breathe our last breath. If you could have a "do-over" what would you do? Is there something you can do tomorrow to make a relationship right? To mend a hurt? To remind someone that you love them?
The greatest hope that we hold through our loss of Bill here on this earth is that because of God's great love, He sent His only Son to die for us, so that when we die, we will not die for all eternity but live, IF we have accepted that gift He has for us. We trust that because Bill confessed Jesus as His Lord, he is now in the presence of the Lord in a new body full of health. And we cling to the fact that we will see him again.
Our hearts will ache, and we will grieve. We've shed so many tears these past 3 weeks, and yet, we always find that there are more just waiting to fall out. Today Bethany asked (though she said she didn't expect me to answer), "Why didn't God do a miracle for Pop Bill?" I don't know why. I know that he has rescued Pop Bill from his very sick body, but why God chose eternal, ultimate healing now, I don't know. Bethany had to write on a form 2 questions she would ask God. That was one of them. Maybe we'll ask Him together. She then has asked, "What if he really wasn't dead & he is buried, then he wakes up?" I tried to explain the medical tools (which fascinate her, and lead to an experiment to find our pulse rate!), but it hurts to know she is wondering these things. She isn't crying, just asking questions. Since the girls were with my parents, they told the girls this morning. Natalie wanted to sit with us part of the time we were discussing arrangements & such.
I think most who would need to know info on arrangements may have been contacted already. In case you haven't, we don't have a definite date or time yet. It's hard to arrange when you have a family as big as Ruth's! Probably Tuesday or Wednesday. It will be at their church, St. Peter's Lutheran in Marble Falls. Here is a link the church with the address: http://www.splcmf.org/ There will not be a viewing, as Bill's body will be cremated.
By tomorrow I should have more details and will let you know.
Please pray that we will all rest well these next few days.